MTB

A week ago, today, I met “Holden Caulfield”.

After work, I went to spend about two hours doing some volunteer work in Greenwich Village.  As I stepped out of the building, there were some steep steps where I needed to deeply bend over from the 2nd or 3rd step to unlock the gate in front of me.

New Yorkers, I think you might know what I am talking about.  Squished spaces, steep steps, little clearance from a doorway to a curb.

I walked out the gate, looked up, and saw a young man walking towards me down the sidewalk with a nice, clear smile on his face, smiling at me.

We made eye-contact, so I smiled back.

He says, “Hi.”

Me:  Hi.  [Smile]

Holden:  I thought you were going to fall off those stairs, so I was preparing myself to catch you.

Me:  Oh, back there?  Oh, you thought I was going to fall?  (And) Oh, you were going to catch me if I fell?

. . .

We are walking and talking. . .

Me:  [I look at Holden]  Wow, were you really going to try to catch me if I fell?

Holden:  Yeah.  [Smile]

Me:  [Completely flattered yet dumbfounded at the chivalry]  Wow, that’s so nice.  You just made my night.  [Smile]

Lots of smiling going on.

Holden:  How’s your night going?

Me:  Good, I was just doing some volunteering, how about you?

Holden:  Good, I just had dinner after work with a friend.  So do you live around here?

Me:  No, I live in ______.

Some more smalltalk, chit-chatting as we are walking.

Holden:  Oh, well maybe if you’re in the area again, we can get together or something.  Here, let me get your number. [Digs in his pocket for his phone]

Me:  [Completely surprised that this young man was asking for my number]  Ok, sure.

Holden:  I’ll call you, that way you can have mine.

Me:  [In awe of his confidence and comfort in talking and “picking me up”] Ok, I’ll cross the street with you then go that way.

We cross the street.

Holden:  It was nice to meet you.

Me:  Thanks for almost catching me!  [As I walk in the other direction]

Next day, Holden texts me and says, “It was nice to meet you.”

We exchange some texts about getting together.  He says he programmed me into his phone as “___ Fallstep.”

I told him he was my Catcher in the Rye. . .

We tried to make plans to meet up — he asked me if I were free for a drink that night but I wasn’t — and tried to coordinate a day in the near future, but it didn’t work out — he was potentially away for the weekend.

The weekend has passed and he hasn’t contacted me again.  And I won’t contact him (one of my dating rules not to contact the guy, I let him contact me).

Well, I was flattered that such young guy would hit on me and it was fun while it lasted.  Homeboy looks way too young for me.

Holden Caulfield.

Here’s Adam Scott signing autographs.

> 24 hours later ILSFTY responds to my text. . .

“So I guess that means no more selfies huh. . . “

Yesterday, I texted ILFSTY to let him know it just wasn’t going to work out with us.

Me: [via SMS texts] Hey ILSFTY.  Thank you so much for the yummy Korean dinner last night.

I’m sorry for going home so abruptly last night but I’m not feeling a romantic connection with you, unfortunately.

So I think it would be best to go separate ways.

And I’ll spare you the whole, “I think you’re a great guy” bit.  I hate it when people feel the need to say those things. (when breaking up)

Thank you again for the nice drinks and dinner dates and wishing you all the best.

ILSFTY:  No response.

Delete name and number from phone.

WJLC = “Westchester Jew, Lived in Cincinnati”

First date with WJLC, who lives in Westchester County and recently moved back from living in Cincinnati for three years.

37 years old, 5’11”.

WJLC does not drink alcohol so we met up for coffee on W 10th street, near where he was going to meet friends for dinner, later.  He suggested we go grab a coffee and take a walk in the park.

WJLC is of Eastern European descent.  He is fair and was probably blond-ish when he was young, which is a look I like.

We grab a coffee and I ask, “So, what park did you have in mind?”

WJLC:  Isn’t Washington Square park around here?

Me:  It’s a little that way.

WJLC:  Or we could go to the Highline?

Me:  [Happy about the suggestion] Oh, I haven’t been to the Highline.  [It was built during the time I moved away and I haven’t ever been]

WJLC:  Ok, then let’s go there.

We walk over that way, not realizing we were a little too far south, so we walk up a bit and find the entrance.  We walked along the city streets.  Doing the usual smalltalk.  Mixed in with some bits of silence.  Walk walk walk.

WJLC:  You’re so tall! [He is not 5’11”]

Me:  Yeah, I’m pretty tall, for being Korean.

WJLC:  Oh, you’re Korean?  Now I can’t guess what you are!

Me:  Haha, oh, sorry!  I know you white people love to guess what we Asians “are”.

WJLC:  Hahaha.  [He laughed and did not take offense]

We got to the southern-most entrance and talked about a bunch of things along the way.  The usual date question made an appearance, of course.  “If you could do any job without salary being an issue what would you do?”

For me, that’s easy.  I’d teach.

WJLC:  Well why’d you leave teaching then?  And don’t say it’s because you didn’t get paid enough.

Me:  Mostly, I left so I could work in a capacity to have a larger impact, more reach.

WJLC:  Good.  That’s the right reason. [Thanks for your approval?] Because you shouldn’t let money be the motivation.  I mean, if you can make ends meet and you’re passionate about what you do, you should do it.

Me:  But money is an issue for teachers.  Teachers should be paid more.  And I can’t just stay in a job where I don’t feel like I get paid enough for all the hard work I’m doing.

WJLC:  Yes, that’s true. . .You know it’s funny, last year I made the most money I’ve ever made and I was completely unhappy.

. . .

Then, WJLC slips into a mode that many men do.  He starts telling me about this and that, as if he’s teaching me stuff.  Like, how to look at a building’s architecture, what this and that means, what that building is, what that restaurant is, blah, blah, blah.

We walked up the entire Highline, then walked all the way back down.  That’s about a mile and a half — and I’m thinking it’s good because I didn’t go to the gym today, but it’s also very humid out and I can tell the curls I curled in my hair before the date are now very limp and my hair’s gotten frizzy.  Not to mention feeling sweaty and hot on an unusually warm October day.

The conversation went in many different directions with intermittent bits of silence.  Stuff about the similarities of Asians and Jews.  Diet, working out, work, the City, but it’s hard to tell jokes, be sarcastic or silly because we are walking side by side the whole time and don’t really see each others’ faces.

WJCL talked a lot about diet.  His diet.  He’s vegetarian.  Then proceeds to tell me about how much protein we need to eat, what protein is for, how if we only ate the required amount of calories our body needs to function we’d be very healthy, blah, blah, blah, and I hesitate telling him that I know these things, that I was a biology major, and taught biology.

WJCL:  So how risk-loving or averse are you?

Me: Hmmm

WJLC:  Like, would you go skydiving?

Me:  Yeah, I want to. [It’s on my bucket list.]

WJLC:  Would you go up in a small airplane that I was piloting?

Me:  Yeah, I’d do that!  [I totally would.]

WJLC:  [Smiles] That’s great.

Then proceeds to tell me more about his flying stuff.

We got back to the Meat Packing District and I let WJLC hail me a taxi.  Cheek kiss, goodbye.  I went home and WJLC went to his dinner.

I’m going to see in what place Adam Scott is in the President’s Cup.

ILSFTY stands for “I lived in Sweden for ten years.”

Dinner date at Hanjan at 8:30pm.  Third date.  Two blocks away from ILSFTY’s apartment.

First date: drink date at Michael Jordan’s Bar in Grand Central Station.  Second date: dinner date at a tapas restaurant (forgot the name) off of Irving Place.

I arrived at Hanjan at 8:30pm and ILSFTY is, once again, sitting at the bar with his back to the door.  He did this at the tapas restaurant, too.

He happens to turn around right after I walk in.

ILSFTY is wearing a black v-neck t-shirt, dark, but not overly trendy/stylish jeans, and black dress shoes.  He wore a sweater and jeans the last two dates.  The last date he wore sneakers.

ILSFTY:  Oh hi!  Good to see you.  [Semi-kiss on the cheek, half hug]

Many, many seconds of silence pass of him just looking at me.

ILSFTY:  So, what do you think?

Me:  Oh, it’s nice.  [I look around – the decor is simple, modern, raw]

ILSFTY:  If there’s one thing that we must order is the the kimchi pork fried rice.  It’s so good.  It’s like bibimbap but with some kimchi and pork and not as many vegetables. . . blah blah blah.

Me: [As I put my hand on his shoulder and furrow my eyebrows] Did you forget I’m Korean?

ILSTFY:  I know, I know!  [A little flustered] But I just wanted to tell you about what it’s like.

We sit.  More talking, talking, talking from ILSFTY telling me about this and that, basically showing me how much he knows about this and that.  I can’t even remember what he talked about.

Somehow our conversation led into talking about bibimbap.  And ILSFTY started talking about how when you eat bibimbap in the stone bowl, you can let it sit and the rice on the bottom forms a crispy layer.  Then, you mix it together and it become a crispy mixture, blah, blah, blah, he’s going on and on.

I leaned in closer and furrowed my eyebrows again and said, “Did you forget again that I’m Korean?”

Sigh.  I’m downing my sake.

More conversation.  Movies.  ILSFTY loves romantic comedies. “Miss Congeniality” is in his top ten comedies.

Me:  I don’t really watch romantic comedies.

He talks about how much he loves Sandra Bullock and how cute she is.

ILSFTY:  Well what’s your favorite romance movie?

Me:  “Sense and Sensibility.”

More conversation about Sense and Sensibility and why he doesn’t like it and asking me why I like it, and Anna Karenina — blah blah blah.  Debate, debate, debate.  Oh, did I tell you he is a lawyer?

Drink more sake.

ILSFTY tells me more about Korean things.  I drink more sake.  I’m tempted to ask him again if he forgot that I’m Korean.

ILSFTY talks more and more about stuff.  All I can think about is how cozy and comfy my bed is going to be when I get home from this dinner.

We finish dinner and go outside.

Me:  [Looking out into the street as we stand on the sidewalk outside Hanjan]  Ok, I’m going to catch a taxi and go home!

ILSFTY:  Really?

Me:  Yeah.  I’m sorry, I’m so tired, I’ve had a long day.

ILSFTY:  REALLY??? [A look of complete disbelief]

Me:  Well, maybe I can stay out for one drink?

ILSFTY:  But I don’t want to keep you out if you’re tired.  But I thought we could spend some time hanging out tonight?  [We are standing at a restaurant he picked, two blocks away from his apartment]

Me:  Ok!  [In response to him not wanting to keep me out – as ILSFTY then hails a taxi for me]

He likes to text me selfies.  Yes, only three dates.

Thankfully, I got home in time to catch some of Elizabeth Smart’s interview on Dateline.

And in other news, Adam Scott is playing in the President’s Cup right now.